What to Do for the Baby Naming Goddaughter

March 11, 2022 Post a Comment

Being asked to be a godparent is an honour, and a sign of true friendship, merely if you don't believe in God, should you lot say yes? Rosy Edwards finds out

It's not every mean solar day yous get a selfie from a three month old. Merely there she was, tiny Cordelia on my telephone screen, property a sign that read: 'Volition you be my godmother?'

OK, fine: she had help from her mother, my dear friend Katherine. And seeing as she is even so in nappies (Cordelia that is – Katherine has been toilet-trained for some time) she didn't actually understand what she was asking.

I shrieked, I cried, I immediately said yeah… merely did I really understand the question? Because among the excitement and sudden rush of love, there was a snag: I don't believe in God.

I am non alone. A 2015 YouGov study conducted for The Times revealed that a tertiary of British adults don't believe in God. Almost the same amount (32 per cent) do believe, and the rest adhere to a higher power but no God (20 per cent) or are undecided (14 per cent).

Katherine and her husband knew my stance and had no problem with it – merely what about the Church building of England?

"To be a godparent, you take to be baptised yourself," says Reverend Dr Sandra Millar, who leads the Church building of England on baptism. Beyond that: "We don't enquire too closely. The Church takes people at face value."

During Anglican ceremonies, godparents are required to affirm their devotion to Christ. I do not fright being smote downwards by lightening – to me, they are only words – merely I understand this element can exist troubling.

"It depends how the parents see baptism," says Reverend Cris Rogers, vicar at All Hallows Church building in Bow. "If you encounter it as a rite of passage, then the question isn't, 'Is your godparent religious?' only, 'Why are you lot having your kid baptised?'"

For many of united states of america, the reply is tradition. "People know the give-and-take 'christening', it's what the family has always done," adds Rogers. If y'all want the pomp and ceremony (and champagne) without the godly overtones, at that place are alternatives.

Naming ceremonies are thriving. Elizabeth Donnelly, a celebrant accredited by the British Humanist Association (BHA) has noted a year-on-year rise in parents opting for a secular naming ceremony in the four years she has been practicing.

"I bargain with people who are not religious merely I also go couples where one is religious and the other isn't, and this is a compromise."

Families cull their ain symbolic gestures, from planting a tree to writing in a wish book and decorating jigsaw pieces.

The one common factor in every service is a commemoration of the parents' friendships.

"I of the things I say in the ceremony is, 'You have been chosen past the parents because…' and announce the reason the parents have stated. Nosotros don't have ceremonies to acknowledge developed friendships merely a babe naming ceremony is a lovely way to do that."

You also get to choose your own title. Humanists unremarkably refer to 'supporting adults' although Donnelly has heard everything from 'guide parents' to 'guardians' and (my personal favourite) 'odd parents' – coming total circle back to 'godparents'. "It's a term that is generally understood by society," she adds.

Equally more of us movement away from organised religion, the Church is increasingly realistic. "You lot accept to get-go where people are at," says Rogers. Instead of a full christening, he offers 'thanksgiving' services to parents whose faith is negligible; Millar but hopes that all godparents advise their wards co-ordinate to 'Godly' values, similar kindness, compassion and charity – qualities surely godparents of all persuasions would hope to impart. I am happy to offer spiritual guidance should my goddaughter ask for information technology. I volition likewise listen if she wants to talk about schoolhouse, or sex activity, or her career, or good white vino (here's hoping).

Across the Humanist and Christian divide, the consensus is that the pick of godparents resides solely with the parents. "Choose people who offer friendship and who volition be role of your child's life for a very long time," suggests Millar.

Katherine and I have been friends since university. Together we've been through exams, first jobs, boyfriends, illness, union – and now children. I am honoured that she'southward asked me to be godmother; she has put her trust in me and I have no intention of letting her down. For me, that supersedes religion.

How to choose your godparents

Contact is key. If you stay in regular contact with your friend, your child is more than probable to as well.
Oldies are goldies. Long-term friends understand your core values and have a track record of reliability and loyalty.
Get like-for-like. Y'all needn't share beliefs just similar attitudes to things like family and education brand things easier.
Follow your instinct. Don't experience pressured into choosing relatives or partners of existing godparents. If they're not the correct option for you, they are not correct for your child.
Be artistic. Choose godparents with a multifariousness of backgrounds, careers and interests. Each will offer your child a unique and exciting perspective on the globe.